You cannot ignore how you feel!

We are born with some eternal qualities. Such qualities that do not change with time. Rather, they become more stronger with very moment, every experience you gain. One such quality is to feel. You can never ignore how you feel. Sometimes, you just want to retrospect your once-in-a-while feelings. Maybe, not for your sake, but for others sake.

Kisi pal ko yaad karke, agar aankhon mein aansoon aa jaye,

Toh yakeen kar lena woh pal jaroor haseen rahe honge!

Kisi zakhm ko yaad karke, agar aankhon mein aansoon aa jaye,

Toh yakeen kar lena aap jaroor un zakhmo sey kuch sikhe honge!

Kisi saksh ko yaad karke, agar aankhon mein aansoon aa jaye,

Toh yakeen kar lena woh saksh aaj bhi aap key dil mein basey honge! 

Ek aarzoo aaj bhi hain dil mein, agar wo wakt mein wapas laut ney ki,

Toh yakeen kar lena aap aaj bhi woh guzre pal bhule nahi honge!

Embracing change...

Embracing change is easy. It is. Not as bad it feels as it sounds. When we are asked to adjust or replace something, we panic. We fear change. Immediately, we start thinking about How? Why? When? What if? All these questions are obvious and unavoidable.

We have a lunch group that contains few very beautiful and distinct souls! None of us are from the same project and hence all of us sit at different locations (in terms of desks and floors). Out of five, one went on maternity leave, one left the organisation, and now we are left with three of us. We have always eaten food at leisure. No hurry, no rush. Few rules we always followed - No eating at desk, No eating without heating, No skipping breakfast and newspaper, and go to canteen if you are bored. They say, 'Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince.' So what if we didn't have that kind of king-prince food, but surely we enjoyed the time-in-canteen as a king or a prince until one day..... 

there was a change in the company's policy. Because of the new policy, we had to let go our 'lunch at leisure' policy... Now, the time spent at canteen is not a part of our work hours. Any shortfall in the daily hours results in a half-day leave. So, the week when you have to leave early, you really have to be very calculative before you embark your footprints outside the barrier gates!

The routine that seemed non-adjustable, suddenly found a fluid layout! Everything got customized. Adjustments became easy. Replacements were accommodated. 

• The time-out became out-time
• The mornings that began with breakfast-in-canteen were now managed with a glass of milk at home. 
• The question 'how-can-one-eat-at-desk' automatically found an answer
• The granite table in canteen is replicated by moving keyboard and mouse on desk
• The lunch that was savored hot started tasting very-very delicious at room temperature 
• The four course meal was adjusted to two course (or was eaten at two different intervals!)

All the above adjustments, which once sounded difficult, were embraced easily. Ever wondered, why?  Two primary reasons - the external change was inevitable and the change that occurred was not informed. When these adjustment and replacement occur naturally or without you being told about it, it becomes very easy to adapt. You may not even know and when the things around you would have changed. It's not important to list down the pros and cons of a change. Neither it's needed to plan your change. Some changes in your life are not equivalent to moving a house where you need to sit with a paper and pen! Neither it requires a to-do list. Few tasks are best completed when unplanned! Such changes when left naturally are adapted quickly. Unconsciously, you start responding them in affirmative. 

Today, as I write this blog, I realize that it's so many days I have not eaten food with my lunch group. I have adapted the change to eat-at-desk so easily that I do not even wait for their ping on the messenger! The day never used to end if I would have not met my friend (who now sits on a different floor). Now, weeks pass without seeing each other! We manage our regular talks on messenger and that too very limited. 

Your thoughts are like water! They will take up a shape based on the circumstances. The only problem is you don't open the lid of the existing container to allow the water to flow! Change will come and it has to be embraced happily.

I am such a person who believes in closing the lid so tightly that not a single drop of water should spill! But then when the force increases, the lid automatically opens and the water makes its own way! Not every adjustment has to be thought in depth. Just do it!

I am missing my lunch group a lot! Hoping to adjust my routine in such a way that I continue to eat-at-desk and eat-at-canteen! Of course not simultaneously :)

You can eat alone...

I have a friend who worries when am on leave. Not because she misses me, rather for a trivial reason. She cannot eat on her own! Okay, I'll be nice to her. I'll rewrite this in a nicer way.

She needs a company at lunch. This doesn't mean she cannot eat alone, but she finds it boring to lunch by herself. She needs someone who can keep her company till she finishes her food. If she cannot find anyone, she'll change her lunch timing so that nobody can spot her eating alone!

My take on this is why can't you eat alone? Shop alone? Watch movie alone? I absolutely do not mean that you should not have a company. It's a blessing to have someone sharing space and time with you, but what if you can't have one? Wouldn't you look for alternatives?

Befriend yourself. You have a lot of capacity to handle yourself. You can mind yourself in a much better way than anybody else. You can amuse yourself in the best possible way than you can ever imagine. How come? Probably, we know ourselves more than anybody else. Our inner self knows what we want. There will not be any communication gap when you start talking to yourself. It's not about keeping yourself busy. It's about telling yourself that there are way more things to do. It's all about time, about getting used to it.

Difficult in the beginning, manageable by end!

What do i do when she is not around? Newspaper keeps me company!

Diplomacy - as we use today

Diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go to Hell in such a way that he looks forward to the journey! I read this quote somewhere and wondered if it really means it this way. If it is so good what makes it so rare.

We have always been taught that honesty rules, and when needed, you are allowed a white lie. As we move on in our lives, we learn that in many situations it’s a good idea to stay shut or handle things tactfully. We adopt diplomacy. Diplomacy consists of, but not limited to, preciseness, politeness, and positiveness.  The purpose is to avoid ugly confrontation, disagree agreeably, and express your opinions inoffensively. Being tactful helps you maintain your equilibrium of peace, cordiality, and respect.

But, nowadays, we have lost the real meaning. For us, diplomacy means answer in gray! Say something that is neither true nor false! Unintentional, but we choose to confuse matter even when things are clear to us. How these impact in long run becomes the purpose of this post.  

When frequently used, any mode of speech becomes a pattern. Such is with diplomatic communication. Even when you know you're not wrong, you’re honest, you start manipulating answers to stay safe. When asked a question that takes an answer, either Yes or No, you discover a third answer for no reason. Why? We never realize when this turns into a habit.

“Have I grown fat”, wife with extra pounds asked her husband. For the husband, diplomacy being an escapist feature, “No, I don’t think so. Naah, you've not. Females of your age usually look good with this weight”. Nothing wrong to answer this way as you can imagine wife’s reaction and husband’s quandary, if he chooses to answer honestly J But if the truth is conveyed within the array of the actual meaning of diplomacy, the husband would have faced his wife’s anger for a while but more likely she would have enrolled herself in a fitness program and actually lost some weight J Think of long run. Don’t use diplomacy to shield yourself.

“You have run over your timeline. Need to be there in the call to explain the delay to the client” said the project manager. Not possible was the fact known, the engineer said, “There’s no way we can achieve this… But if we do X for now, we’ll later replace it with Y. And maybe, we’ll do X.1 in between”. A diplomatic answer? Actual definition would have made the engineer say “No”. A plain “No”. Avoid unwanted words that can become an onset of confusion and perhaps, confrontation.

Many a times, we need to explain our opinions loud and clear. Ensure, we are heard. To be within the frame of diplomacy, we’ll start by “Yes, I agree to what you say, But….” And, then we start with lengthy facts that create more of a court-room scene. Or, we end up being a marketing agency of our opinions! The purpose of diplomatic communication is to disagree agreeably. Say, “I understand. Here’s what I was thinking…” This will give you enough room to put down your opinion. Perhaps, it will also put others in hearing mode!

The real art is to understand when to be diplomatic and most important how to be. People take diplomacy and honesty as two different factors. Diplomacy is a trait to describe honesty in the most amicable way. It is an aid that helps you believe in yourself. When used wrongly, it takes away your confidence and ability to stand by your thoughts.

We have met and will meet a lot of people in our life. With individual and conflicting personalities, each of us stands unique. Everybody possesses a great amount of power to be diplomatic. We deal with words, with statements, and of course, with unsaid answers! And at the end of the day, we understand the diplomacy we offer each other!