The real motivation

All of us need motivation. All of us have idols. Sometimes, these people can be celebrities who have worked very hard to earn the much-needed fame or are someone from our own lineage.

What about people who are younger to us? Can they become our ‘motivation’? Maybe, our kids? How can kids motivate us even being younger to us by at least 20 years. They haven’t earned that experience yet, and can't even spell the word correctly!

Aahana, my 9-year old  has exhibited such motivational acts many a times…

She has friends who regularly bring healthy snacks in their tiffin. What about Aahana? I reach home - tired, exhausted, hungry, and at times breathless! Thankful to my mother and cook, I don't have to contribute much in cooking. But, there's a lot of domestic work that must be completed before we hit bed. So, when Aahana shouts, "What shall I pack in my lunch box, mamma?" the most common answer she gets from me is, "Put those high-fibre biscuits, a handful of khatta-meetha mix, and some pieces of khakhra.” As the answer remains the same, just the order of items changes with every passing day.

One evening I was cleaning her tiffin, which smelled oily and spicy. I asked if she swapped her tiffin with any of her friends. “You know the kind of boiled corns we eat at the mall, my friend had it in tiffin. I loved it. And since I have dry snacks everyday, we swapped it for a change”, she answered. I asked why didn't she ask me to make it. “You are mostly short of time, you wouldn't have made it for me, would you?", she questioned.

I felt embarrassed, and later guilty! Making a corn-chaat isn't a big deal. I was always under the illusion that I don't have that kind of time where lots of domestic tasks need to be taken care of. Hence, I never made an attempt. I thought it would give me a run for time if I add one more task in the list. Finally, I decided to give it a shot on Monday. I prepared few things a night before. “Good Night”, Aahana looked at me, "Are you really going to cook me chaat tomorrow? Wouldn't you get late? I hope you'll not be upset if I don't wake up on time and then pack me some dry snacks as punishment…“ “Let's see!” is all I said.

Since she was excited, she helped me by dressing up on her own. Suddenly, she said “WoW! It smells delicious! Can we also add some butter? It's going to be much better than what my friends get. Can you cook some more as I want to share it with them. I’ll tell them you've cooked it in the morning for me! Can I have it every Monday since you'll get time to prepare a bit of it on Sunday…", she went on and on...

I don't know how much she would have enjoyed eating it, but am sure she was extremely happy with the fact that I cooked it for her. She understood the extra effort I took. She appreciated me for the task that actually is my responsibility. Most of the time, as parents, we say "Stop talking. Listen to me". Sometimes, it's good to be on the other side. As a parent, we need to understand the sacrifices our kids are making for us. It’s not only us who are stressed out and struggling against time. They participate in this race too, not as your competitor but as your motivation. The happiness on her face was the real motivation, and behind that smile was my real idol. We don't have to ponder when someone asks us about our inspiration. They are our own people. Younger or elder, depends on the situation.

As a mother, as a parent, I ensure she doesn't lack in any of the things. It's not a competition among mothers to win "The Best Mother" award. It's about understanding the sacrifices that our kids are doing for us. It's about ensuring they aren't really different from others. Apart from a good life, such minor things also add up in our daily happiness!

Knowingly or unknowingly they have sacrificed a lot for us. Even before they understand the real meaning of life, they have accompanied us in our race against time. They are your strength as much as they are your weakness. They have stood by you in every act, every decision that you have taken for and on their behalf. It's time to give it back to them!

Until I write up something else, you search for some quick kids recipes! Happy recipes that lead to your   happiness!

Ok! Friends, Mamma? Friends?

Friends, when used as verb creates magic. Tenders all the odds. Resolves most of the problems. Melts you like an ice-cream. When used at the right time, and most important, by the right person, it always creates wonders. Heals all the bad thoughts and soothes you from core. 

My 8-year old daughter, Aahana, never forgets to say "Friends, Mamaa...Friends?" As a kid, she is bound to do wrong things, misbehave at times, and irritate us by silly questions. It's normal. Any kid does that and so does she. As a mother, I am bound to be angry, express wrongly, and act dramatic. It's normal. Any mother does that and so do I :(

The trick that works between us is a magical verb, Friends! She ensures she says "Friends, Mamma?" before she says "Sorry, Mamma". She thinks, one needs to be friends first so that it becomes easier for the other person to forgive ones mistakes. She'll always come with an angelic smile and ask me to be friend with her. Later, apologize. 

On my part, there is nothing more than this act of hers that makes me feel guilty for being rude to her. There is an unsaid apology that runs within me at that moment. Things that I would have chosen to say in a louder voice automatically find the correct tone. The understanding that needs to be imparted by me finds a better way. Words that shouldn't have been said make me justify and apologize to her. 

Kids are god's own people. We as grownups lose manners with course of time. Such acts teach us patience and pour calmness. Our bad behaviors hurt them more than any scratch on their knees! Such rude behaviors from our side are poignant reminders for them. However, it's their unconditional love that ensures things close correctly. They do not have a routine or a set responsibility, and thus, they have more time to worry and think over and over again on our reactions. 

My daughter is my good old teacher, who finds patience every time I lose one!

I hope and pray, I get to hear "Ok, Friends, Mamma? Friends?" even after she matures and I grow old :) Regardless of whatever state of life I may be in, I would die for these words :)